The appearance of children is a joy for every family. Love for the child is a prerequisite for family happiness and the full upbringing of the baby. But sometimes parents spoil their child unnecessarily with gifts, attention and indulgence to his whims. Spoiled children become a real headache not only for parents, but also for society as a whole. Selfishness forms a child's disrespectful attitude towards people, indifference to the needs of others. Love, attention and affection are good, but how to understand where it is worth staying so as not to get a spoiled teenager in the future? There are many parental errors.
Parents stimulate the actions of their child with various material gifts. For example: "I will buy you a new computer if you get all fives." This is a good way for the child to start doing important things. But, on the other hand, this method cannot be used constantly. Children absorb the secrets of manipulation like sponges and in the future may say: “I will not do anything until you buy me a phone.” Usually in such situations spoiled children of wealthy parents find themselves who pay increased attention to their material status and worry that their child will be deprived in comparison with their peers. For mom and dad, a demonstration of material security and a high appreciation of the family by society are important. Children who are spoiled with expensive gifts do not appreciate their value and the work of their parents, consider it a duty.
Or vice versa, parents work all day, and the child is left to his own devices. Parental love is replaced by gifts. Mom and Dad can not give children due attention, caress them and talk heart to heart. Parenting is limited to material purchases, which, of course, cannot replace the baby with the necessary family proximity. From these children grow up cold, unloved, but also spoiled by gifts personalities that are difficult to please.
One has only to start crying - and the desired is presented on a silver platter. Moms do not want to waste their nerves in the store when the baby falls to the floor and sobs, wanting to get chocolate or a new toy. Parents are embarrassed by prying eyes and buy everything that their whim wants, just to end this nightmare. The child in this situation is a manipulator who perfectly understands the situation and uses it to achieve his goals.
“He is little” is a phrase familiar to everyone. So what if he broke a vase, shouted at his elder sister and took the toy from the girl in the sandbox, he’ll understand when he grows up. Hypertrophied love for his child develops into the creation of an absolute manipulator for parents. Open space for whims, tantrums and command of all members of the family. The absence of comments and rules forms egoism and permissiveness. The only child in the family is a classic example of this mistake. Parents adore the baby and realize all his desires without punishing pranks.
On the same level
Friendly communication with the child is very good. This creates a feeling of trust, a close relationship with the parent. But, despite this, children sometimes begin to raise their parents, speak in raised voices, without feeling authority. From time to time, it’s worth reminding the child that mom and dad are primarily senior members of the family who need to be respected.
Spoiled children. Signs
- Systematic tantrums at home and in public places. Refusal to purchase the desired is the most common reason.
- Dissatisfaction with everyone: from food to new toys. Such children get bored quickly, and they require new entertainment or other children's things.
- Refusal to comply with requests or rules established by parents or other senior family members, for example, reluctance to put their things or toys back in place.
- Selfishness. Disrespect for others, inability to share.
- Offer good behavior in return for what you want.
- Lack of understanding of the word "impossible."
Spoiled children are the result of improper upbringing. Love for the child should be expressed in helping to establish his character and habits, and not in buying the desired dolls or cars. Almost all children who grow up in large families do not receive expensive gifts. However, parents instill in them a love for loved ones, the need to help the family. Each gift for them is value and joy, and not an everyday occurrence. Such children respect the work of their parents, rather than manipulate them. It is useful for the child to know the framework in behavior, to adequately respond to life's difficulties and try to cope on his own, without hiding behind his mother’s skirt.
Grandmothers and grandfathers
The older generation is called to love and pamper their grandchildren. It is good if they live separately and pamper from time to time, but sometimes your parents live with you and do not consider you the main carers. Great love also grows into indulging whims and complete submission to the little egoist. Children spoiled by grandmothers learn to manipulate adults and understand that if they cannot get what they want from their parents, then grandparents will certainly make their dreams come true. Grandma will give a forbidden chocolate candy, buy a new doll. It is important to discuss the intricacies of education with the older generation, to create compromises. Children brought up in such hyper-custody, grow up selfish and do not appreciate the attention and work that the family put into them.
How not to spoil a child and raise a personality in him?
- Saying no to children is possible and necessary. Thus, concepts such as life rules, feelings and needs of other people are laid. When refusing a child something, be sure to argue your action. If mom has money and a desire to buy some gift, then there is nothing wrong with buying a toy in a store. If the family does not have a sufficient budget, then it is worth explaining this to your child. Knowing the situation, he will appreciate the surprises and selectively choose the things he needs.
- Mom and baby should spend enough time together, play and communicate. Girls and boys should be accustomed to household chores, helping elders. Having learned what labor is, children will respect their parents and value their personal belongings. Discipline and hard work are brought up from childhood. Ask your child to clean the apartment, wash the dishes, etc.
- From an early age, one also needs to be taught compassion for others and generosity. Not for nothing that in the sandboxes, mothers make babies share their buckets and shovels, because this is one of the main steps to raising a good person. Greed is one of the resulting spoiling.
- It is necessary to identify the boundaries of what is permitted and strictly follow them. If a child notices a gap in the rules, then he will definitely use it for his manipulations.
Signs of a Spoiled Baby
On walks, parents often observe such pictures: children manipulate their moms and dads, throw loud tantrums, emotionally demand to buy a toy in the store, all this with screams, tears, and some kids even fall to the floor and pound on it. It may sound selfish, but such scenes have always amused me. I began to be proud of my children, because they themselves do not allow this. On the contrary, they are very polite and calm in public places. If my children want something, and I notice an impending “thunderstorm,” I will calm them down pretty quickly.
However, it was this problem that I had to face in the first days after my daughter’s vacation. Such scenes took place with us, and my daughter also began to snap back. I realized: the child is spoiled, so he needs to be re-educated urgently.
The signs of spoiling children are different, it must be borne in mind that they depend on the age of the child. What is acceptable for 3 year olds is unacceptable for first graders. Therefore, having noticed one or more of the signs of spoiling (which are lower), try to adequately assess the behavior of your child. If you can, attract friends and acquaintances to express their point of view from the outside. This will help to get a more complete picture and evaluate how the problem is running.
So, by what signs can we understand that the child is spoiled?
All parents are faced with children's tantrums. Each child has his own character, but a very small baby can express emotions and show what he feels only in this way. If the problem becomes global, the child organizes concerts in shops, in public transport, at a party, because of the little things, not knowing the measure, and he is already over 4 years old, this can safely be called a child's hysteria.
Lack of basic skills and generally non-self-reliant
At each age, the child must have certain skills and be able to perform certain actions. So, at 4 years old, naturally eat with a spoon without the help of adults, put on a T-shirt and pants on your own. If the first grader has no idea where to put his toys, how to fold his clothes, and adults are forced to constantly remind him to brush his teeth, this is unacceptable. Try at each stage of the development of the child to invest in it new knowledge and to form habits aimed at self-service, the development of self-discipline. Most often, it is weak development in these areas that distinguishes a spoiled child from a well-bred child.
This is another sure sign that the child is spoiled. He can resort to the most sophisticated ways to achieve what he wants. They use lies, attempts to put their parents in an awkward position, demonstrative behavior - the baby deliberately begins to cry, scream, and hysterically loudly. Matured children resort to outright blackmail.
Too often attracted the attention of others
You yourself, in principle, can indulge your child’s whims as you please. But surrounding people do not have to endure this. And the argument “He is a child!” Does not work. This is not "he is a child," but "you spoiled him."
This symptom, like everyone else, depends on age. For a 3-4 year old child, greed is a normal quality; an understanding of one's own and that of another is not yet formed. If there is a clear problem, when the baby is sorry to treat loved ones with even one small candy, although he has a whole bag of them, it's time to think about the reasons for this behavior. It is likely that the whole thing is spoiled.
The fact that the child is dissatisfied with everything has become one of our main problems after the holidays. This was manifested in almost everything. Not so prepared porridge, not the one put the chair, not the one bought the toy, not the one gave the toothpaste. Claims and whims simply had no end. Whatever I offered my daughter, she was not happy with everything. My patience was already running out, but in the end I realized that such behavior is very far from ideal. The inability to reach a compromise is a huge problem, due to which relations deteriorate and a feeling of hopelessness arises. Do not lose sight of this symptom.
If the baby began to be rude and snarl, it means that you have ceased to be authority for him. He began to think that he deserved more, and parental opinion is not so important. Stop any opportunities to be rude to you and to any person in general. Uneducated children show disrespect for elders and communicate with them on an equal footing, and this is no longer childish requests.
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This sign of spoiling is the most controversial of all possible. Children are naughty by nature - this is due to their age and development. They just still cannot always understand the true state of things. And you can’t train a baby like an animal so that he fulfills every desire of an adult. So for children it’s natural not to obey adults, but there should be a measure. “Do not go to the stove, it is hot, so it will hurt” and “go home, tomorrow you will play with children in the sandbox” - these are completely different things. In the second case, if the child does not obey, it is entirely possible that he is simply trying to prolong the fun. In the first situation, disobedience to parents does not bode well.
Does not want to help
From a certain age, the child should already have his own responsibilities in the family. It is important, given the possibilities of the child, to accustom him to help loved ones, to be responsive. If the child does not want to do anything at all, doesn’t put away the toys, does not make the bed, refuses to wash the plate after himself, it is necessary to explain the rules of behavior to him. Laziness, indifference to everything around, are sure signs of spoiling. No wonder they say that labor ennobles.
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Not only an adult, but also a more or less older child is required to bear responsibility for their own actions. He must have a clear understanding that if he is now scattering toys, then he will have to remove them. If he smears a white T-shirt, he will go dirty, so he can be called a slut. The main thing is to talk with the child, explain everything to the smallest detail, show a causal relationship so that he consciously performs actions and understands what they can lead to.
Why a child becomes spoiled - the main reasons
- Most often, the only child in the family becomes spoiled. If there are brothers or sisters, this disciplines and pacifies ardor. The attention of mothers, fathers, grandparents is shared between all children - with the exception of those rare families in which there are pets,
- If the couple did not manage to give birth to a baby for a long time, but finally it happened, he becomes long-awaited. A lot of attention is paid to him, he is overly patronized, although he may not be the first and not only child in the family,
- The roots of spoiling can also lie in the difference in education. Mom and Dad must adhere to the same views on this matter. It’s also worth discussing with your grandparents the rules of communication with the baby in order to avoid disagreements,
- Lack of control and rules in the upbringing. There is a system of parenting in which the child is given freedom of action and choice. On the other hand, permissiveness, especially at a young age, giving the baby to himself, leaving him alone with his problems and experiences, does not bode well. Mom and dad should participate in the life of their child and guide him on the right path until he grows up. You need to allow yourself to learn from your mistakes, but no more. The child must understand that there is a word "necessary",
- Lack of attention. Sometimes, for certain reasons, parents do not give back to their child of love and care. One is hindered by work, employment, while others simply do not want to deal with the baby, because there are more interesting activities. To compensate for the lack of attention, parents allow their child more than necessary, give him many gifts. At the same time, the nanny instructs the baby, who educates him already according to her own principles, and the child’s spoiling cares little for her.
What future awaits a person who is spoiled in childhood
Psychologists are convinced that spoiled children, growing up, cannot fully adapt to the outside world, the norms and rules of behavior existing in society. If a child grows up under the wing of parents who protect him, defend his interests, then in adult life all this will not happen anymore. The world is cruel, and no one will indulge its whims, desires and requirements. It will be very easy for a person to insult and offend, and he will begin to take everything that is said to him too close to his heart. The world for him will be incomprehensible, cruel and hostile.
The upbringing given by the parents will not be able to shield this person from the realities, and this will affect his emotional state. As it turned out, spoiled children, growing up, have low stress resistance, are more often faced with psychological problems, depression, self-digging, complexes. They also allow themselves too much without taking into account current opportunities - this applies to money, health, and other areas of life.
However, the results of other studies show that some of the spoiled children in adulthood became quite successful. Moreover, their success did not depend on the financial well-being of parents or other relatives. They did everything on their own. All this is due to unshakable self-confidence, parental support, lack of fear of uncertainty. These qualities are possessed by children under the auspices of their parents who adore them. However, these studies can be treated quite skeptically. You can educate a self-confident person with love and support, but at the same time give him knowledge about real life, and not indulge with or without.
How to re-educate a spoiled child
Наконец-то мы можем ответить на главный вопрос этой статьи. Важно следовать всем рекомендациям и действовать комплексно, и постарайтесь делать все плавно и постепенно. Отнеситесь к этому делу серьезно, не бросайте попытки перевоспитать ребенка на полпути, проявите твердость характера. Будьте уравновешены и справедливы, спокойны и терпеливы, не кричите на ребенка. If the baby is already very spoiled and accustomed to his condition, it will take much more time than in the case of children “spoiled” recently under the influence of certain circumstances (for example, like mine).
- State your thoughts and requests clearly and clearly, in a language that the child understands. These should be exactly requests, in no case orders. Argument your decision, even if you don’t like it. In your speech, firmness and adherence should be felt. Let your baby know that your decision is final and is no longer negotiable,
- Discipline your child. Make an approximate daily routine, setting out the time for lifting, eating, exercising, walking, having fun and hanging out. Follow the regimen daily and talk about it with your child. Explain to him what benefit he will receive if he follows the daily routine. If he will object, show firmness,
- Be consistent in your actions and actions. If you gave a promise to a child, be sure to fulfill it, if you have been punished or forbidden by something - stand your ground until the problem is resolved,
- Think of certain household chores for the baby - to feed the dog, make the bed, wipe the dust. However, consider age and development,
- If spoiling manifests itself in a public place (for example, in a store, a child throws a tantrum, demanding some kind of toy), hold back and do not yell at the baby, do not slap on the pope. Just take him to a quiet place and calmly explain why you will not buy what he asks. If the tantrum does not end, try to remain calm, do not respond to provocation, leave. No need to indulge the child, otherwise he will quickly realize that parents can be manipulated. Stay unshakable. Have a strict and serious conversation at home, threaten that next time you won’t take the child with you to the store,
- Consider what exactly led to the unwanted behavior. The child becomes spoiled for various reasons, they can be very individual. First, find out what triggered the problem in your case, and then start re-education.
In conclusion, I would like to note that children are the best that happens in the life of parents. Not always everything goes smoothly, sometimes we miss the moment when the baby becomes uncontrollable. But it all depends on us adults. At any time, you can correct the situation by taking it under your control. However, do not forget that the child is an individual with his own character, which is still not worth breaking.
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Spoiled baby. What to do? GuberniaTV
Parental love is unconditional, and sometimes it knows no boundaries. Often, the consequence of such love is the spoiling of the child. Today we’ll talk about what to do if the situation is already complicated, how to behave to parents and what actions to take.
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Spoilage or illness
The modern world is a rapidly developing component of the universe. Due to constant employment, parents often begin to indulge in diverse needs, and then the whims of the child. And over time, the baby turns into a spoiled person. It’s no secret to anyone what problems this situation leads to.
But it happens that a child initially requires too much attention, does not obey his parents, and also "stands on his head." He has a lot of energy that he always tries to throw out. Some believe that this is how spoiling is expressed.
In fact, in medicine there is such a term as hyperactivity disorder and attention deficit disorder. Modern children are increasingly faced with this diagnosis. What is this fraught with? Sick babies begin to behave like pampered children. But in fact, disobedience is caused by neurology.
Accordingly, if there were no real prerequisites (they will be discussed below) for the growth of a capricious child, it is recommended to take the baby to a specialist. It is likely that the problem accepted for spoiling is SGDV (hyperactivity). She is being treated very successfully. The exact treatment is prescribed by the neurologist.
Signs of Spoiling
There is a generally accepted list of signs of a spoiled child. There are a lot of them. However, parents should rely on the information set forth below. It will help to distinguish hyperactivity and a strong desire of the child to get something from true spoiling.
So, spoiled children most often:
- Refuse to share. It's no secret that all babies are initially selfish. They become attached to their things and toys. But with age, people learn to share. If a grown up baby is greedy, this is a clear sign of spoiling.
- All the time they arrange tantrums. Until a certain age, a child’s tantrum is the norm. Until about 4 years of age, one should not be surprised at such behavior. But if the already grown up kid hysteria all the time, if his requirement is not fulfilled, the child simply manipulates adults, arranging "concerts".
- Psychologically dependent on the mother. A baby without a mom is a picture that is hard to imagine. But a baby at the age of about 3 years old, who cries when staying in a kindergarten or with relatives, can get the status of a spoiled one.
- Selective in choosing food. Tantrums and whims in children occur when parents refuse to cook gourmet dishes. It is one thing to invent and invent something special for an allergic person or a baby on a diet. Quite another - when the baby refuses the usual food and demands in return "something tasty."
- Forever dissatisfied. A clear sign of spoilage is constant dissatisfaction with something. Children will constantly reprimand their parents that they are not comfortable with clothes, toys, furniture and other things. But if someone from your friends boasts a new subject, as a spoiled person demands it.
- Refuse to help parents around the house. It is recommended that children be taught to help with housework from about 3 years old. This is a normal occurrence. But spoiled children will not clean up after themselves even at school age, not to mention helping parents. Any request from adults is perceived acutely, followed usually by childhood hysteria.
- Rude to adults. Rough communication with elders is one of the main signs of a spoiled baby. From childhood, children need to be taught that older people need to be respected. Spoiled children belong to adult consumers. And therefore, they believe that they can be rude and rude.
- Manipulate. Moreover, as practice shows, it is very clever. Children are masters of manipulation. Favorite tricks are tears, tantrums, denial of communication. A spoiled kid for each member of the family selects his own "lever" of influence. Often, such children first turn to dad, then to mom, grandmother, grandfather and other loved ones until they get what they want.
- Violate established norms and rules of behavior. Some experts believe that spoiling and bad manners are equivalent concepts. Naughty children attract attention in all ways. And often breaking the rules helps them with this.
- Do not respond to failures. Such kids do not hear the word "No." In infancy, children really do not perceive failures, they do not care about the reasons - they simply are not able to figure it all out. But by the age of 3, babies are already catching the connection between what is "possible" and what is "not." Spoiled children do not see the restrictions and prohibitions, they do everything to achieve the goal.
All of these signs can indicate that the child is not sick, namely spoiled. But why is this happening? And how to deal with a similar situation? Is there a chance to re-educate a naughty and moody child?
Sources of permissiveness
Before starting the fight against tantrums and whims, it is always necessary to determine the source of the problem. This is the only way to successfully cope with the task.
So, parents have a spoiled child. Why is this happening? The thing is that the baby can not be called spoiled. With a scream, he informs his mother of some discomfort. With age, the desired is achieved in the old ways - crying, tears and tantrums. The child gets used to this behavior of the parents and learns to manipulate them.
Often, spoiling is a sign that mom and dad cannot come to a common view of education. For example, dad does not allow eating candy before dinner, and mom can beg it without much difficulty. This disunity allows children to be capricious.
Another reason why you can raise a capricious baby is the inconstancy of prohibitions. Today you can watch cartoons until 23 o’clock, and tomorrow you can’t. Such actions cause indignation of the child and, as a result, hysteria and moods.
The listed scenarios are very common reasons for raising capricious children. But the list does not end there. Next, some specific situations should be considered in more detail.
In the modern world, parents have little time to engage in their offspring. Therefore, mothers and fathers try to “buy” the love of the child, make amends, allowing their children all that they want. From here comes spoiling.
Accordingly, attention deficit needs to be addressed. And learn to refuse children. Not in everything, but in that which is truly "impossible."
Relatives and their love
Very often spoiled children are the "favorites" of grandparents and other relatives of the family. The thing is that this happens because of a violation of the authority of mom and dad.
As already mentioned, children are great manipulators. They learn to understand who and how to manage. If the parents do not allow sweets to be eaten, and the grandmother does not see anything wrong with this, then the child will begin to understand this over time. The mom and dad of the baby will become "enemies number 1", which you can complain to other relatives.
Granny spoiled children are a common occurrence. Often, the older generation believes that they better know how to raise a baby. And grandmothers simply do not recognize modern methods of education. Parental authority doesn’t count at all! How to deal with this will be described later.
- Now, if something needs to be pampered, then, of course, emotions. Mom and baby have a great energy connection. Weasel and attention should replace material gifts. From the cradle, babies need tactile feelings of love. You can and should kiss, hug and feel sorry for the child! Of course, you need to know the measure and look at age. Older children need support and acceptance as they are. Pamper your children correctly - and bring up good qualities in them!
- The child must understand the motives of prohibitions and rewards. Parents are required to talk and explain to their child what is good and what is bad. If a child deserves a present for his good behavior, then there is nothing wrong with giving him a surprise. Parents should give a gift from the heart for truly deserved deeds. So children will learn to value things that will be real surprises, rather than everyday acquisitions.
A lot of good
A spoiled child (disguised or not - this is not so important) is often brought up in families where they waited a very long time for additions. Blame everything - hypertrophied love. In other words, too kind and gentle behavior of parents.
If dust is blown away from a baby from birth, he gets used to such behavior and takes it for granted. There is a formation of egoism and permissiveness. A classic example is a family with only one child. Usually, the baby is not punished for pranks, everyone forgives him.
This is the child spoiled by parents. A similar situation can be corrected. Oddly enough, this is done easier than in the case of spoiling grandmothers. What needs to be done to grow a personality and not get the status of bad parents?
What to do?
Not all parents can take the right educational measures the first time, and a spoiled child replaces the obedient. What should parents do in this situation?
When the wrong childish behavior is evident, it is worth revising the rules of education, as well as their behavior. Children like a sponge absorb the character traits of their parents, and also form their character based on the family situation. Patience and a few rules will help to correct mistakes in education.
- A strict daily routine will help the child systematize his behavior and learn to follow the rules. Sleep, lunch and recreational activities at the same time - the right start for correcting a mischievous person.
- Spoiled children need discipline. Domestic help is a prerequisite. Assign a special task to the child, which he must strictly perform, for example, dusting and watering flowers. So he will learn to appreciate the work of other people, to respect the elders.
- Replace computer games or watching TV with interesting mugs. Swimming, modeling or music will present a new hobby, teach systematicity, and peers will not pay attention to his whims.
- It is necessary to talk, to praise the child for his achievements. Children are in dire need of adult recognition. Bad behavior should not be discussed in a raised voice, but during a confidential conversation. So the child will understand that you love him, but are dissatisfied with his actions.
- A healthy diet will help you feel alert, improve the health and mood of the child.
Personal Education Tips
From the foregoing, it follows that spoiled children are the result of improper upbringing for one reason or another. There are a number of rules, adhering to which, parents will be able to help themselves in the correct formation of the personality of the baby.
The first tip is to learn to say no to your child. Failures should be understood by everyone. This does not mean that you have to ban everything. It is only about really important prohibitions.
The ability to argue your position is the next important point. It plays a special role in failure. If a parent prohibits something, it is important to explain why “not.” Otherwise, tantrums are inevitable. The rule applies to any action.
To cultivate a love of work and discipline from childhood. It is important not to go too far. Let the child spend enough time with parents helping them with housework. Then labor will be appreciated.
The unity of the rules of behavior is the key to success in education. It is important that parents have the same view on how to raise a baby. If a child notices a gap in prohibitions, he will surely find a “lever of influence” on his parents.
Parenting a baby
“Do not carry it on your hands, do not sleep with your newborn, otherwise you will spoil it,” - advice to young mothers is given to everyone who is not lazy. The baby needs the support and care of the parents. Raising a child up to a year is a period of maternal affection, guardianship and helping a newborn to get used to the realities of life. It’s impossible to spoil it, Mother Nature came up with it. Babies cannot be manipulated, they cry in order to inform their mother about hunger, colic, cutting teeth. The baby needs to form a benevolent attitude to the world through touch and tenderness. Raising a child up to a year should initially be a stream of love and attention.
About screams and punishments
Often, mothers and fathers struggle with the whims and tantrums of the well-known method - screaming. "He doesn’t understand otherwise," "Here comes the father - you will receive," "Now I will ask you!" - Similar phrases can be heard from tired parents who are faced with a spoiled baby. Surprisingly, this technique does not bring results. Parents swear, the child cries, gets scared, expresses his displeasure. And the more abuse and punishment, the greater the tantrums.
Psychologists say that to combat a baby’s bad behavior is necessary without negative emotions. Punish misconduct, but not too much. And certainly not to scream or intimidate. This behavior entails a return. And therefore, cries and punishments in the fight against spoilage will only hurt.
Some are wondering whether to pamper children. After all, the line between norm and exaggeration is difficult to see. What do experts say about this?
Yes, children must be indulged. Parenting "in the black gloves" will harm the psyche of the child. Or the baby will consider that they do not like him. The main thing is to observe the measure in everything.
Be sure to spoil the children! They will grow very quickly, and the time spent with them cannot be returned. And the behavior of parents forever remains in the memory of every baby. But how to please a child?
For this, it is important not to give gifts to the baby. You just need to enrich the lives of children with positive emotions and bright colors. The child should spend enough time with parents, do what is interesting to him. From birth, the baby needs tactile love. Kissing, regretting, hugging, picking up - all this is not prohibited. Rather, the opposite! The main thing is to learn to feel the measure. If you spoil the children correctly, it will benefit.
You need to talk with the kids. Это прямая обязанность родителей. Они должны объяснять, что такое "хорошо", а что такое "плохо". Ребенок заслужил своим поведением подарок? Тогда можно сделать ему сюрприз! В этом нет ничего зазорного. Но задаривать без повода и даже при сильном непослушании - это прямой путь к избалованности.
Все подарки должны быть от сердца, с любовью. Children feel good when adults try to pay off them. A gift made with a soul will cause a lot of emotions, it will be significant for the baby.
How to regain parental authority if it has been lost? All the previously listed tips can be supplemented by observing the regime of the day and the introduction of a system of punishments and rewards. But the main thing is conversations. The child needs to explain why this or that behavior is unacceptable. Mom and dad must adhere to a unified methodology of education.
If spoiling was due to the influence of relatives, it is proposed to go in several ways:
- Conversation. Parents should gather a family council to explain how to behave with the child. You can even print or write memos.
- Continue to raise the child as before. Not the most effective way. After all, children will still manipulate whoever is possible.
- The cessation of communication. Usually this method is good for grandparents who do not take the baby's parents seriously. If the conversation and memos did not help, you will have to stop the communication of the manipulated relatives with the spoiled baby. Not the most humane, but very effective way to return parental authority. The resumption of communication occurs after the re-education of the child and recognition of the parental authority of the relatives.
How parents act will depend on their patience and the degree of spoilage of the baby. Some may call grandparents to endless conversations until "patience breaks." And someone immediately crosses the visits of people who can be manipulated.
Conclusions and Conclusions
Children need to be pampered. So they will feel the love and care of their parents. But in everything you need to observe measure and consistency. There is nothing difficult about this.
If you keep the child in "hedgehogs", he will grow up without parental love, will become an inferior person. There is nothing wrong with surprises and rewards.
Spoiled children - this is not a sentence. They can be re-educated. This is a difficult path that the whole family will have to overcome. The main thing is that parents and relatives have enough patience. Some are advised to take sedatives for self-control.
Do you pamper children? Definitely yes! This is the normal behavior of loving parents! Moderate pampering brings up only positive qualities.
You can and should pamper
Childhood is a wonderful time in which there should be warmth, affection and happy emotions. Parents are the guides of their children, their mentors and guardian angels. From an early age, they are obliged to give their children love and protect them from negative situations. Strict fulfillment of the requests of the little manipulator will not replace his parental care, but only spoil him. Pamper your child with warmth, family attention and valuable gifts on important days for him. Surprises should remain surprises, not everyday shopping. Education of spiritual qualities and independence is the main value that parents can give.