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How to behave with inadequate people: rules of conduct, advice and recommendations of a psychologist


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People who want to influence the aura of excellence use indulgent tones and jokes. You probably sometimes meet patronizing people at work and in personal life, so developing a strategy for communicating with them will help to keep emotions and anger in check.

Get ready for defense

How to behave with an inadequate person? Realizing that soon again you will have to face an outspoken boor, carefully tune in to an unpleasant dialogue. Take a comfortable position. Stand or sit down to feel firm support.

During the conversation, express only theses, supported by verified information and facts. Keep in mind the goal you need to achieve as a result of communication. If you know that they will try to provoke you into vivid emotional reactions, highlight the object in front of your eyes where you can look without distracting your opponent with aggressive gestures and facial expressions. Fix your gaze on the subject, which will become a kind of support for maintaining emotional balance.

Do not let the opponent down

By indulging in impudent behavior, a person may be in the role of a victim. Manipulators often arrange “experimental” peculiar checks. In the beginning, unobtrusive probing of the soil occurs. In the course of mini-tantrums, strange claims and unfair claims, weaknesses are discovered.

How to behave with inadequate people? It is worth several times not to take into account the alarm signals, as soon as they sit on your neck. It is better to suppress intolerable behavior in the bud. Try to resist the destructive nature of your opponent and not give up.

Tear patterns

What to do if a person behaves inappropriately? Use the method of breaking the internal patterns of an unbearable person. In response to demonstrative rudeness, follow an emphasized, polite style of speech. Do not raise your voice, no matter how offensive the remarks thrown at you are. Conduct a dialogue in a friendly manner with a slight touch of sarcasm and a humorous component.

It is the politeness of the interlocutor who most often discourages inappropriate people. Rudeness is gradually reduced to zero, as the opponent is surprised at the absence of a completely natural, expected aggressive reaction. Gap patterns lead to a calming inadequacy.

A good weapon against intolerable people is sound humor. Laugh at the caustic remarks of the interlocutor, show how absurd the conclusions and statements of the opponent are. Show that the words of an inadequate person only make you smile.

Learn from mistakes

When communication with an inadequate person reaches a peak and transcends all boundaries of the rational, it is important to retreat on time. An irrational dialogue must be completed immediately. Any phrases that allow you to instantly end the dispute will do. Sometimes it’s enough to thank a person for the conversation, turn around and say goodbye. Once in a calm atmosphere alone with yourself, you should analyze an unpleasant conversation, identify your own weaknesses. Next time, avoid previous mistakes when communicating with inadequacy, demonstrate steadfastness and full confidence.

Immerse yourself in the inner world of man

How to behave with inadequate people? Talk calmly to a person who breathes irrationality. Mentally put yourself in the place of the opponent, conditionally plunging into his special world. Realize that the person in front of you is most likely innocent of negative behavior, and all reactions are unconscious. There is a reason for everything. Try to do without condemnation, focusing on clarifying the provoking factors. Imagine yourself in a similar emotional state. Such thinking in relation to inadequate people makes it possible to eliminate the feeling of threat.

Try to avoid quarrels

How to talk with inappropriate people? When preparing for a difficult conversation, tune in to maintaining verbal contact, but do not forget about the likelihood of a quarrel. Understand that the purpose of dialogue is not to achieve victory in a dispute. The defining moment is the search for leverage for finding mutual understanding. Ultimately, it’s wiser to get out of the way of an unbearable person and give way to avoid scandal.

Personalize your opponent

How to talk with an inadequate person? Imagine in front of you is an animal or insect, such as a cockroach. Surely the opinion of some small parasite has absolutely no value. Visualize the disgusting, insignificant image of the opponent. By personalizing an inadequate interlocutor, it turns out all the same, what words will be heard in your own address.

Declare Possible Consequences

How to communicate with inappropriate people? Set personal terms. Note that aggressive actions will entail punishment. Follow the advice especially rationally when it comes to relationships with an inadequate employee. Hint at a possible complaint to superiors if a colleague continues to behave in an unbearable manner. As a rule, fears of a fine, demotion and dismissal restrain aggressive gusts. At the same time, be prepared for specific actions on your part. Otherwise, next time your statements about the negative consequences will sound like an empty phrase.

Do not take insane statements to your personal account

You may notice that inadequate people engage in dialogue with everyone in approximately the same style. This means that irrational statements conditionally do not concern you specifically. But crazy behavior says a lot about a person. By abandoning the perception of aggression in a personal address, one can deprive an opponent of a single weapon. Do not go into a state of emotional affect. Deny yourself the threat. By abandoning the perception of aggression on a personal account, you avoid irritating the parts of the brain that are responsible for the onset of fear and block adequate thinking.

Define a person’s strategies

How to behave with inadequate people? Find out the patterns according to which an aggressive opponent acts. Usually there is a whole set of factors that cause a person's ferocious messages. Internal operations are cyclical, repetitive in nature. The latter serve to bring the interlocutor out of balance, inducing fear.

Analyze human behavior during communication. Observe the moments that provoke inappropriate reactions. The correct arrangement of emphasis in the future will provide an opportunity to destroy the aggressor’s strategy, will make it possible to better control the situation, and find ways to counter it.

Take a condescending position

Inadequacy often results from envy or competition. The optimal solution in this situation is a demonstration of a condescending, understanding and even somewhat pitiful position. It is reasonable to meet irrational behavior with a sympathetic look. If there is no risk of physical aggression, a person can be patted on the back. Make your opponent feel safe. Sometimes it’s worth letting you “beat” you inadequately.

Refuse provoking the irrational person to the next attacks of envy. Having ceased to be subconsciously afraid of you, your opponent will most likely cease to exhibit boorish behavior. Over time, a condescending position will force a person to change his views, and will create the basis for establishing relations.

What to do with an inadequate boss?

The worst situation is when a person cherishes good work and career prospects, but is forced to face an aggressive, authoritarian boss every day. The future in the company and the welfare of a subordinate depend on this person. Therefore, the employee is forced to resort to particularly careful planning of his own behavior.

How to behave with an inadequate person who has power over you? In no case should not let everything go on its own. Fight manifestations of rudeness and humiliation. Otherwise, a persistent bad mood will drive you into depression, reduce self-esteem, and harm not only mental but also physical well-being.

If you are a specialist and a valuable employee of the company, arrange a conversation with the boss. Tune in to keeping the tone of the conversation calm. Express your interest in retaining a position. Hint at diligence in the performance of duties. Tell that some aspects of the relationship confuse you and negatively affect your productivity. Ask your boss to avoid unpleasant moments that hinder the achievement of useful work results.

As a last resort, form a team of like-minded people. Complain to the upstream management. If the director of the company is “on the same wavelength” with the boss, it’s probably worth simply looking for another, equivalent job for career development. After all, no payment and possible prospects are worth the constant bullying and the risk of psychological trauma.

Where to go if a person behaves inappropriately?

The most reasonable action in contact with an absolutely uncontrolled person is to ensure personal safety. If there is a high probability that the aggressor cannot be stopped, you need to find ways to retreat. When an inadequate person is involved in disturbing public order, call the police.

Sometimes you have to deal with a friend or neighbor. In such a situation, it is rational to apply to the nearest psychiatric dispensary, whose staff must conduct an appropriate check.

In some cases, the strange behavior of others does not mean that it is time to contact the police or call a team of orderlies. For example, when a drunk person behaves inappropriately, but does not carry a threat. Sometimes people suffer a moral shock, emotional shock, and are in an uncharacteristic state of frustration. Such effects often disappear on their own, if once again you do not provoke inadequate.


Using the psychological techniques from our publication, you can quickly calm an inadequate person. When mutual peace in the conversation is achieved, help your opponent move on to rational action. However, always be on the alert. After all, the search for prudence in the inner world of inadequacy is a long and difficult process. Separate psychological advice does not work instantly. However, if you do not stop trying to reach the mind of an inadequate person, over time the situation will necessarily change for the better.