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How to communicate when communicating that a person is lying

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They always lie. The ability to deceive is the ability that is inherent in the nature of man. Throughout life, we cheat even themselves.

Lying it’s harmless, sometimes even for salvation: we deliberately say the wrong things in order to fence off the person we love from the bitter truth.

But sometimes the lie is not so harmless . She can seriously harm someone and lead to trouble.

To minimize possible negative consequences from someone’s lies, learn to recognize a liar.

Here main signsindicating that this is a liar:

2. He stares intently and for a long time at the interlocutor

This is the classic behavior of a liar, which is very likely consciously trying to trick you. It is likely that a liar will look at his interlocutor for a long time and intently, without blinking.

Thus, the liar wants to ward off any suspicions from himself and demonstrate real honesty.

However, statistics say something else:

according to research, truth-tellers maintain eye contact for just over half of the total conversation. While a liar will stare at you for most of the conversation.

3. He blinks quickly

Another situation may arise: people who feel uncomfortable blink faster and more often. As a rule, a liar commits 5-6 blinksd.

Such a reaction can be a manifestation of stress. There is another explanation for such frequent blinks: it is entirely possible that this is a sign that the person telling the truth is trying to be more convincing.

One way or another, you should pay close attention to the often blinking interlocutor. This may be a signal that they are trying to deceive you.

4. He uses pointing gestures

Liars are actively gesturing. This can be expressed both in physical and oral form. Thus, they try to distract the interlocutor from their lies, focusing his attention on another topic.

Perhaps he is also trying to shift the blame and protect himself. The liar moves a finger and becomes aggressive.

All this proves that a person who is telling a lie, feels that he can be caught in a lie and, to the last, is trying to distract his interlocutor.

5. He focuses on details

The lying person devotes a lot of time to unnecessary details and provides the interlocutor with more information than necessary.

Too much information can be a clear sign that someone who talks too much has a bad conscience.

Perhaps the liar's psychology works as follows: the more eloquently he speaks, the more open and honest he seems to the interlocutor.

6. Fucking and nervousness

From time to time, each of us can be restless or a little nervous. But if the nervousness of your interlocutor is too obvious, then this may be a clear sign that you are a liar.

Fidgeting, he can perform many different actions, indicating that at the moment a person is lying.

For example, a liar straightens his clothes, loosens a tie knot, tugs on a piece of jewelry, tucks locks of hair behind his ear, wipes his glasses, fingers, cleans his nails, straightens a notebook, twirls a pencil or wipes sweat from his forehead.

All these actions and some others indicate that a person is currently uncomfortable due to the fact that he is telling a lie.

7. Convulsive pharynx, sore throat and pursed lips

Is your interlocutor convulsively swallowing saliva, trying to clear his throat or pursing his lips? Everything indicates that a person is alarmed and experiencing stress.

When we are in this state, our body slows down the mechanism of saliva production. This leads to the fact that you begin to feel dry and discomfort in your mouth.

A liar can be identified by the fact that he begins to swallow saliva quickly before saying anything.

He purses his lips, keeping his mouth shut.

8. Mismatch of verbal and non-verbal gestures

As a rule, our physical actions correspond to the words we pronounce.

For example, when we agree with someone, we nod in agreement, and if we disagree on something, we shake our heads from side to side, as if to say no.

The discrepancy may occur in the following points: a person negatively waves his head while saying “yes” or nods his head, but pronounces a negative “no”.

These conflicting actions are a clear sign that a person is telling a lie.

9. Change in voice

Depending on the situation, the liar is able to change the intonation in the voice. He can speak quickly or suddenly slow down his speech, speak quietly or raise his tone, speak louder than usual.

It is likely that the liar will begin stutter when trying to remember the details. Tell him the truth, he is able to recall the necessary information without much effort.

Some people, nervous, make strange sounds, are in an excited and excited state for no apparent reason.

Best defense is attack. This is the point of view held by most liars.

Often a liar is nervous and takes defensive positionbefore answering an uncomfortable question.

10. He has increased sweating and shortness of breath

The liar begins to sweat harder or he has difficulty breathing. A liar can give out his own body.

Lying is stress. When a person lies, his heart rate increases and blood pressure begins to rise.

Such changes in the body lead to a person breathing heavily and sweating heavily. Physical changes in the state of your interlocutor may clearly indicate that you are a liar.

Therefore, listen carefully and look at the person with whom you entered into a conversation.

What is a lie

Lying is a communicative phenomenon common in the modern world. Research and surveys suggest that people lie daily. However, deceiving every day, people themselves do not know how to understand that a person is lying.

Only a “professional” liar and manipulator can regulate his behavior so that others do not reveal his deception. Psychologists and physiognomists are able to determine a lie by observing a person. But everyone can learn to recognize fraud.

There are many definitions of lies. In logic, a lie is the opposite of truth, a statement that is obviously not true. In everyday life, a lie is a human-conscious deception.

In psychology, a lie is a deliberate attempt to form a belief in another person that the speaker himself believes is wrong. Conscious lying is a kind of communication tactic chosen in a specific situation.

There are many types of lies:

  • hoax,
  • falsification
  • simulation,
  • plagiarism,
  • flattery,
  • fairy tales,
  • slander,
  • bluff,
  • self-talk, self-deception,
  • exaggeration or understatement,
  • perjury, oath-crime,
  • good lie
  • a lie for good
  • naked
  • children’s
  • pathological
  • involuntary.

Types and forms of lies

There are two main forms of lies:

  • misrepresentation
  • silence of information.

The first type, in turn, is divided into total, situationally total, situationally partial lies, distorted generalization and inventing (misinformation, rumors and gossip).

  • Total distortion involves constant lies. Complete distortion of any facts.
  • Situationally total lie implies a complete distortion of information, but not always, but in specific conditions.
  • A situational-partial lie presupposes periodic lies, more often based on established authority and trust.
  • Distorted generalization is the favorite method of liars. Two real facts are taken, but contrary to all logic, they are reduced to the third completely incorrect statement.
  • Disinformation is not so much a distortion as the creation of false information about someone or about something.

The problem of silence as a form of lies has been viewed differently in recent years. This is due to the close contact of silence with mystery, a person’s right to something personal. In light of this, some modern psychologists suggest not to consider silence as a form of lies.

There is a concept of professional secrecy. How then to be? What if two ethical forces clashed: a secret, that is, information hiding due to a professional code, and a lie as a vice of society? All this leads to thoughts about the relativity and ambiguity of lies.

By the way, if a person is just silent, then you are unlikely to suspect something. Unless some non-verbal signs will make themselves felt. But a lie is a product of communication, for its birth you need to talk.

Favorable and unfavorable conditions for lying

It is believed that it’s easier for status people to lie, as they obviously develop a trusting relationship. The same is true for successful and beautiful people. An interesting fact is that men better recognize male lies, and women - female.

There are certain conditions that predispose to the success of deception or, on the contrary, doom it to failure, respectively, contributing to the exposure of the liar. All conditions can be divided into three groups: for a lie, for a liar, for a verifier (someone who recognizes a lie). See the tables below (the material is based on the work of P. Ekman).

For a lie
Favorable conditionsUnfavourable conditions
There was time to prepare an answerThere was no time to prepare for the conversation
Enough silenceUsing default is not possible
Information is not accompanied by emotions (objective)Information is personally relevant
A person will not be forgiven if he confesses a lieMan will be forgiven if he confesses
High conversation, high rates
The punishment for lying will not be supplemented by the punishment for covering it up.The punishment for lying will be supplemented by the punishment for covering it up.
Man loves to lie, regardless of his gainMan lies only for profit
The victim fully trusts the liarThe victim distrusts the speaker
There is a successful experience of the same person.The liar has no successful experience of deceiving this victim
Values ​​of victim and liar varyOpponents have the same values.
False sanctionedLies are not authorized
The victim is unknown to the liar personallyThe liar knows his victim well
The victim is not known to the liar at allLiar presents his victim
The victim hides his attempts to convict a liarVictim does not hide his suspicions
The victim does not know the information available only to the liarVictim knows information only available to liar
No strangers suspected of cheatingThere are strangers suspecting fraud
Victim and liar differ by nationality or cultureVictim and liar do not differ by nationality or culture

For the liar
Favorable conditionsUnfavourable conditions
There is experience of such a lieNo such experience
Rich imagination and mindMeager abilities
Good memoryBad memory
High oratorical competenciesInability to speak well and convincingly
Possession of your emotions (facial muscles)Inability to strain the right muscles
Acting abilitiesLack of acting
Belief in what he saysDisbelief in your own words
PsychopathologyMental health
Indifference to the cheating processOverly emotional attitude to the very process of lying (fear, guilt, delight)
Shame on what is hiding or masking

For the victim (verifier)
Favorable conditionsUnfavourable conditions
The reputation of a man who cannot be deceivedWas cheated (by the same person)
Incredulity as a personality trait
Propensity for justiceIgnoring justice
Adequate attitude towards other people and yourselfExcessive kindness, friendliness, desire to see only good in everyone, avoidance of problems
Ability to interpret the signs of lies, knowledge of theoryLack of knowledge, skills and abilities
There are prejudices against a liarNo prejudice
Lack of benefits for ignoring liesThe benefits of not detecting lies
The ability to adequately perceive their "suspended" state (cheating or not)
Blinding for JusticeThe attitude of "without fanaticism"

Behavioral

This group of the most obvious and difficultly controlled symptoms. I recommend to pay attention to them first of all.

  • Enhanced gesticulation.
  • Touching the face and lips with a palm.
  • Manipulations with small objects (pen).
  • The contradiction of verbal and non-verbal information. For example, verbal agreement in combination with shaking the head from side to side.
  • External change in the eyes (enlargement, narrowing, changes in the visible space of the eyeball).
  • Change of direction. It is believed that looking down symbolizes sadness, to the side - disgust, down and to the side - guilt and shame. This is so well-known information that it is considered an elementary school of liars. A more or less experienced liar will always look directly in the eye or look away where he needs to.
  • Change in gestures of a non-working hand (in most people - the left, if they are right-handed). Depending on the individual norm of a person, gesticulation becomes less or less frequent.
  • The accompaniment of speech is reduced by illustrations, images drawn in the air (stress, underline, circle, wave, and so on).

Emblems are specific stamps in communication that do not require words. We all know what the middle finger or shrug mean in combination with a horseshoe smile and distortion of the eyebrows, thumb up or ring of thumb and forefinger.

  • Sometimes an element of the logo leaks out accidentally from a liar. For example, one shoulder is lifted or only a horseshoe smile.
  • The second option of seepage is a change in position. Typically, emblems are shown right in front of you at chest and waist level. When seeping, the emblem can go sideways, up, and so on. Even applying the index finger to the face may be a distorted version of the third finger logo.

Posters are the most accurate, but most rarely leaking sign of lies.

Hand changes as signs of insincerity include:

  • nature of movements (smooth, sharp, normal),
  • resting position (tense, relaxed),
  • standing while talking (in pockets, scratching hair, clenching fists),
  • change of pockets habitual for a person (for example, he always puts his hands in his trouser pocket, and then he put it in his jacket),
  • head support with a hand,
  • resting the elbows on the table,
  • covering the eyes with the hand or with the strength of the eye muscles,
  • if the latter is a person’s habit, then you need to look when he does it,
  • tapping the table with your fingers
  • a situation causing tapping with your fingers (meditation, anger),
  • any other gestures and actions non-standard for a person.

The same information is relevant for the legs. If a person performs non-standard actions for him with his feet, then perhaps he is lying. Pay attention to:

  • on the movements of the active leg,
  • the desire to go in one leg,
  • toe-to-toe (which is on top?)
  • in what situations does a person cross his legs,
  • Does the overlap of the legs
  • step speed
  • the position of the legs and the whole body with interest during the conversation (leans back or leans forward, stretches the legs or tightens),
  • wiggle on toes,
  • other individual habits and behavioral patterns.

Pay attention to the characteristics described above. But! It is necessary to analyze changes in these elements in relation to the individual norm and human habits. For example, your friend always taps his fingers when he is angry, and in your conversation, although he mentioned that the situation makes him angry, he didn’t take a characteristic action - he’s probably lying and is not really angry. And the other person, in principle, does not have the habit of knocking with his fingers or knocking with a different emotion, respectively, and the interpretation of his behavior (truth, lies) will be different. All individually.

Appearance

The discrepancy between words and appearance is another sign of deception. It’s easier to notice when a person is “stooped” in words, but his very hands are in gold. If a person bought an expensive suit for the last money, then to create an image of a respectable person and to deceive people - then it’s more difficult.

It should be understood that, like all signs, this one is subjective. And even if we talk about poverty-wealth, then everyone has his own understanding of the phrase "no money." For someone, this is really the last hundred in the wallet, and for someone, the remaining tens of thousands. Therefore, a person in his mind may well speak the truth. Nevertheless, one should always pay attention to the appearance and its correspondence to the words, the image.

Psychophysiological signs

  • Dilated pupils.
  • Frequent blinking.
  • Microexpressions on the face. A skilled liar can expertly hide emotions and feelings, replace them with others. But no matter how strong self-control is, true emotions will always make themselves felt for a couple of seconds. The question is whether you notice them.
  • Blurred facial expressions (a liar understands that unwanted truthful emotions seep out and quickly overlaps her falsehood).
  • Rapid breathing, visible rise of the chest.
  • Nervous swallowing or coughing, scratching.
  • Sweating or dry mouth, redness, or pallor.
  • Tears For the skilled liar, this is not impossible. At the right time, he easily moisturizes his eyes.

Domestic biologist I.M.Sechenov determined that each of the main emotions has its own muscle. It defines the facial expression (see the table below, the material is borrowed from the book of A. N. Tarasov “To recognize a liar. How to recognize a fraud”).

EmotionMuscle
AttentionFrontal.
ThinkingВерхняя половина круговой мышцы век, сокращение умеренное.
Deep thoughtThe same muscle, contraction is stronger.
SorrowEyebrow shifter.
AngerPyramidal muscle of the nose.
Moderate crySmall zygomatic and circular muscle of the eyelids.
Crying with bitter tearsThe common lifter of the nasal wings and upper lip, the circular muscle of the eyelids.
JoyThe large zygomatic and lower half of the circular muscle of the eyelids. The reduction is moderate.
LaughterThe same muscles as in the previous case, with the addition of the upper half of the circular eyelids.
IronyBuccal muscle and square chin.
SadnessThe triangular muscle of the lips, the compressor of the nostrils and the muscle that turns the eye down.
ContemptCircular muscle of the eyelids, square chin, transverse nasal, common lift of the nasal wings and upper lip.
SurpriseFrontal muscle and lower jaw lowerers.
Tetanus in surpriseThe same muscles as in the previous case, but with a big contraction.
FearFrontal and broad cervical muscle.
HorrorPrevious muscles and lower jaw lowerers. High cutting speed.
Focused rageCircular muscle of the upper eyelid, chewing, buccal, broad cervical, square muscle of the lip.
VoluptuousnessTransverse nasal and major zygomatic muscle.

A sign of deception is the untimely appearance of an emotion, the sudden appearance or disappearance, asymmetry of the face with any emotion. Consciously, a person cannot control the equal contraction of all the necessary muscles. Sometimes these are microscopic disorders, but they are.

If you notice that a person is trying to portray something from the table, but at the same time the muscles are contracted differently, then it is highly likely that you are a liar. In addition to the asymmetry, Paul Ekman identified the characteristic features of some false emotions:

  • Fear - the absence of true signs in the forehead (eyebrows should be raised and shifted).
  • Sadness - the absence of signs in the forehead (the inner corners of the eyebrows are upturned).
  • Joy - eye muscles are not involved.
  • Enthusiasm or interest in the topic of conversation - untimely illustrations or their insufficient number.
  • Negative emotions - meager manipulations (with the body, objects), constant psychophysiological indicators (does not sweat, does not breathe deeply, and so on).

Verbal symptoms

  • Uncertainty of answers and evasion of them.
  • Unreasonable judgments. Lack of facts and arguments.
  • Slow speech, pauses. A man tries to remember everything that he lied.
  • An inept liar often makes a reservation, makes mistakes, illogically presents the material.
  • Frequent use of interjections ("eeeee", "nuuuu", "soooo").
  • Careless statements. This happens in 85-93% of cases. If a liar does not read a piece of paper, then he does not follow the content of speech much.

Intonational (paralinguistic)

  • Increasing the tone of voice, volume and pace of speech while concealing anger or fear.
  • Opposite reactions, that is, lowering when trying to hide sadness.

It should be understood that any of the described features is relative. When revealing a lie, it is important to take into account the characteristics of the person sitting in front of you and to know well how he looks and behaves in everyday life. Sometimes incoherent illogical speech and its paralinguistic features are a sign of the underdevelopment of the communicative sphere, excitement, fatigue, randomness of thinking, and not lies. Or, to tell the truth, a person is afraid to look into the eyes because of self-doubt, and when he lies, he looks directly on the contrary. Dilation of the pupils, sweating, coldness of the limbs also do not necessarily mean a lie.

Psychology is an inaccurate science. It does not and cannot have a single general scheme for solving the problem. Signs of a lie are no exception.

Recommendations for more successful lie recognition

If you want to maximize the percentage of accuracy of the results of your observations, I recommend that you adhere to the following rules:

  1. Talk in the same language with a potential liar (slang, everyday communication, professional terminology).
  2. Take into account the intellectual abilities and profession of the person opposite.
  3. Express your thoughts as accurately as possible. No hints and no "meanings."
  4. Ensure unity in the dialogue (topic, direction, speech).
  5. Follow the logic in the presentation of their speeches.
  6. Concentrate all attention on the information and behavior of the partner.
  7. Be objective, avoid stereotyping and bias.
  8. Take into account the psychological characteristics of the opponent, especially the properties of the psyche (temperament). It’s cool to evaluate its ability to perceive your information.
  9. Do not limit the liar in time.
  10. Do not talk in advance about the conversation (do not give time for preparation).
  11. Prevent attempts to switch to other topics.
  12. Exclude from the conversation all unauthorized persons who are not on your side.

In order to find out individual reactions in the process of lying, you can first ask your opponent a few questions, the answers to which you know. Or go to the trick and offer the game "True or False." Your goal is to identify individual characteristics of a person’s behavior and speech when he speaks the truth and when he lies.

Deception always seeps, but through different channels, often in turn after a few. Recognition of lies is an art that requires a huge amount of practice, attention and observation. If you learn to explore and observe, then you do not need to know the signs of a lie. You will be able to make your description of “telling the truth” and “lying” to each person.

It is always worth remembering that observation and even the polygraph beloved by many fixes the excitement of a person, not a lie. You notice the unpreparedness of a person, the ill-conceived words. But it happens that before a serious subjectively meaningful conversation, we really come up with words, and then try to remember them. Or vice versa - we had the courage to admit something, but the words are chosen with difficulty. All reactions are individual and relative.

To find out what exactly a person is hiding is almost impossible. But to reveal the contradictions in what he says and what he feels is real. Recognition of lies (emotions) is a complex art that requires many pages of text and your practice, therefore it is impossible to illuminate all the subtleties in one article, just as you can learn to recognize fraud after reading one source.

“It would seem that a lie is a simple and accessible thing for everyone, but meanwhile I have never seen a liar who would successfully lie three times in a row,” - Jonathan Swift.

Related Literature

Learn the psychology of emotions, then you can catch the true state of the liar. The following books will help you with this:

  1. Carroll Isard Psychology of Emotion.
  2. A. N. Tarasov “Get to know a liar! How to recognize fraud: 12 practical tips. "
  3. A. N. Tarasov “A born liar. Me or you?".
  4. D. Novarro, M. Carlins "I see what you think."
  5. B. King, The Lying Monkey: An Honest Guide to the World of Deception.
  6. Paul Ekman Psychology of Lies. Lie to me if you can. ” I especially recommend this book. It examined in detail each of the emotions (description, illustrations). The whole phenomenon of lies and its recognition “from and to” is described, the rules and safety procedures (the relativity that I spoke about) are given.

Why do people cheat

Why do people lie several times a day? Everyday lie is not a gross deception, but the concealment of insignificant information, it is a lie "on trifles". Everyone wants to seem better and does not want to spoil relationships with others.

A weighty and substantial lie is always associated with some situation significant for the individual. She is able to destroy the structure of personality and ruin the life of an individual.

A person who is dishonest with himself and others is forced to live in constant tension from the need to hide the truth. The truth will sooner or later be revealed, and the revealed deception will entail a lot of negative consequences.

Scientists have two main versions of why people knowingly lie, even when they realize that deception will not lead to anything good:

  1. Fear. Why is man lying? Because he’s afraid to tell the truth, even if he can’t admit it to himself.
  2. The conviction of the need for lies. The individual can be sure that the interlocutor is better not to know the truth, since it is difficult to accept, understand, survive.

Unfortunately, people are used to deceiving each other, but unscrupulous lies are not a normal occurrence, but an immoral act.

From childhood, every child is taught to speak the truth and tell everything to parents. But the baby still learns to lie over time, looking at adults. Children easily find discrepancies in the words and deeds of adults and soon realize that untruth can be used as a way to achieve what they want.

Unless a person is an avid liar, experiencing the delight and pleasure of cheating, he will feel negative emotions and feelings, uttering a lie. Lies give rise to shame, fear, and guilt for deciding to deceive someone and take this action.

Pronouncing and experiencing lies is a stressful situation. Negative emotions during lies excite in the literal and figurative sense of the word, physiological changes expressing excitement begin to occur in the body. The brain sends nerve impulses to the muscles, which cause non-verbal and verbal manifestations of deception noticeable to others.

Signs of a lie

How to find out if a person is lying? What are the signs of a lie that help to declassify it?

No well-known sign of a lie can be regarded as its direct evidence. Conversely, the absence of signs of deception does not mean that a person speaks sincerely.

You need to evaluate the behavior of the interlocutor as a whole. Individual actions and movements are considered in conjunction with other manifestations of a person in relation to the interlocutor.

The behavior of a subject who is lying is different from his normal, ordinary behavior. Therefore, to determine that a person is lying is much easier if he is close or familiar. Determining whether a stranger or unfamiliar person is lying is much more difficult.

When defining a hoax, a person is closely watched, they notice signs of a lie and compare his situational behavior with normal behavior accepted in a particular situation and environment. Not knowing a person, it is easy to make a mistake and confuse his usual action with a sign of lies.

You can convince a person of a lie if you know the truth in advance or if you can verify the information you hear. But how do you know that a person is lying when you can’t check his words? In this case, knowing the signs of lies is useful.

Signs of a lie are verbal and non-verbal. Verbally deception is expressed in verbal form.

Non-verbal symptoms are divided into:

  • physiological
  • mimic
  • gestural.

NON-VERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION:

  1. Increased sweating and heart palpitations. The palms, forehead and skin over the upper lip are moisturized.
  2. Dry mouth. From experiences, it dries up in the throat, a person often drinks water or swallows saliva.
  3. Heavy, intermittent breathing or its holding, deep breaths and heavy exhalations.
  4. Narrowing of the pupils, rapid blinking, a close look in the eyes or, on the contrary, inability to look at the interlocutor.
  5. Change in complexion, redness, blanching, or staining of the skin.
  6. The appearance of goosebumps on the body.
  7. Tension in the face: twitching of the facial muscles, crooked smile, frowning eyebrows.
  8. Trembling in the voice, stuttering, coughing, changing the timbre, tone, volume of the voice (provided that these speech defects are not caused by anything).
  9. Inadequate and untimely smile or smirk.
  10. Chaotic and fussy movements: going back and forth, rocking the body and the like.
  11. Rubbing and scratching various parts of the body.
  12. Frequent touching the neck and face: nose, lips, eyes, forehead, ears, nape.
  13. Biting the lips, fingers, or nails.
  14. Nerve twitching and tapping the limbs on the floor or other surfaces.
  15. Crossed arms or legs, so-called bodily locks.
  16. The desire to hide his hands behind his back, in his pockets, under the table.

All the above manifestations can be observed when a person is simply worried, worried, trying to please. For example, before a public appearance or meeting new people. It is possible to determine for sure that a person is lying, by comparing his actions with words.

Verbal signs of lies:

  1. Unwillingness to discuss the topic and constant attempts to change it are obvious signs of information concealment.
  2. Laconicism, avoiding the answer, or short yes or no answers. When there is something to hide, a person will be afraid to say too much.
  3. Oaths. The interlocutor zealously tries to prove his case, swears and repeatedly gives his word of honor.
  4. Much thought before you say or answer something, delaying pauses in a conversation.
  5. Repeated flattery and attempts to gain confidence. So the liar tries to turn his attention, reduce the vigilance of the interlocutor.
  6. Attempts to arouse sympathy and self-pity. This is done so that the interlocutor does not even think to question the incoming information. Is it possible to doubt the sincerity of the "unfortunate" person?
  7. Demonstration of indifference, ostentatious indifference to the topic under discussion.
  8. Another significant sign of lies is behavioral. The deceiver never fulfills his promises and always finds excuses for this.

It cannot be argued that a person is cheating if only one sign of a lie is discovered. There should be several, both verbal and non-verbal.

How to communicate with a cheater

According to statistics, the vast majority of women believe that the truth is better than deception, at the same time, every second man is sure that a sweet lie is simply necessary in difficult life situations. But with age, men lie less, try to be frank.

Unfortunately, some people lie so skillfully that it is difficult to declassify them, relying only on the signs of a lie. Intuition will come to the rescue. Having sufficient life experience, you can guess that a person is lying and protect himself from the consequences of fraud.

Lies are classified depending on the degree of complexity, the level of "skill" of the deceiver:

Manipulation without the intention of influencing beliefs. Such a lie is called childish. The deceiver pronounces a clear lie, not realizing that it is not difficult to declassify him. Why do people lie like children? Because they are afraid of punishment or want to receive a reward by hiding the negative or inventing positive actions, respectively.

The manipulator convinces the interlocutor of the veracity of the information, realizing that this will affect all subsequent thoughts and actions. Roughly speaking, liars of the second level are able to "splurge", mislead.

A liar knows how to cheat so that he is not caught in a lie. This is skillful manipulation and skillful deception. Fraudsters use tricks, techniques and strategies of deception. Such an “advanced” lie is not uncommon in politics, journalism, commerce, and entertainment.

Having noticed several signs of a lie in the interlocutor’s behavior at once, it’s worth considering why a person lies openly and how to behave further with him. But do not rush to indict, without checking your guesses.

Suspecting dishonesty of the interlocutor, you need:

  1. Try to keep calm. The natural reaction to untruth is resentment and indignation. But if you express them in a hurry, the deceiver will find a way to justify himself.
  2. Assume why a person is lying. Accurately say why a particular person is lying, only he can.
  3. Check your assumptions, if necessary, find evidence and facts.
  4. Talk with the deceiver, giving him the opportunity to explain the situation, confirm or deny the truthful information.
  5. To establish the fact of deception. Having figured out the situation, you need to make a decision to forgive the deceiver or to stop communicating in connection with the loss of confidence in him.
  6. Not everyone will find the courage to expose a liar, sometimes it is dangerous to do this. But if it comes to family conflicts or disagreements at work, it is simply necessary to find out why people lie and dot all the “i's”.

Once it is difficult for a person who has lied to regain trust, and if deceit is a habit, those around him cease to respect and love. Liars and deceivers often become outcasts, stop in their development, degrade.

Lies can ruin any relationship, personal life and career. Why people lie, knowing this, remains a mystery. It is much more effective to communicate sincerely, openly, honestly to express available information, your thoughts and feelings to others.

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